It is good to carry our mindfulness practice through the day. In any way we can. I like to try to be mindfull when I am arounf people, especially people who are dear to me.

And who are the dearest people I have? My children!

Very often, I see myself making the mistake of not being calm enough around them. Even sometimes yelling when they do not do what I want, or when they do not do it fast enough. Kids are truly a great source of joy, and of frustration.

So, I was very pleased when I saw this interview with Jon and Myla Kabat-Zinn about mindfull parenting

It ends with twelve exercises for mindfull parenting the I would like to reprint here:

1. Try to imagine the world from your child’s point of view, purposefully letting go of your own. Do this every day for at least a few moments to remind you of who this child is and what he or she faces in the world.

This is excellent advice, and it can be applied to just any body. Not just your children

2. Imagine how you appear and sound from your child’s point of view; imagine having you as a parent today, in this moment. How might this modify how you carry yourself in your body and in space, how you speak, what you say? How do you want to relate to your child in this moment?

3. Practice seeing your children as perfect just the way they are. Work at accepting them as they are when it is hardest for you to do so.

Beause in reality, they are perfect. Well, almost that is.

4. Be mindful of your expectations of your children, and consider whether they are truly in your children’s best interests. Also, be aware of how you communicate those expectations and how they affect your children.

5. Practice altruism, putting the needs of your children above your own whenever possible. Then see if there isn’t some common ground where your needs can also be met. You may be surprised at how much overlap is possible, especially if you are patient and strive for balance.

6. When you feel lost, or at a loss, remember to stand still. Meditate on the whole by bringing your full attention to the situation, to your child, to yourself, to the family. In doing so, you may go beyond thinking and perceive intuitively, with the whole of your being, what really needs to be done.

7. Try embodying silent presence. Listen carefully.

This, for some reason, comes easy to me. I like to listen to all the things they invent. I can spend lots of times listening to them. But sometimes, I see myself be absent when they talk.

8. Learn to live with tension without losing your own balance. Practice moving into any moment, however difficult, without trying to change anything and without having to have a particular outcome occur. See what is “workable” if you are willing to trust your intuition and best instincts.

9. Apologize to your child when you have betrayed a trust in even a little way. Apologies are healing, and they demonstrate that you see a situation more clearly, or more from your child’s point of view. But “I’m sorry” loses its meaning if we are always saying it, or if we make regret a habit.

I guess this can be tricky. I do this with my children, but I have much more trouble doing that with my wife and parents. Strang how family relations can be so different.

10. Every child is special, and every child has special needs. Each sees in an entirely unique way. Hold an image of each child in your heart. Drink in their being, wishing them well.

11. There are very important times when we need to practice being clear and strong and unequivocal with our children. Let this come as much as possible out of awareness and generosity and discernment, rather than out of fear, self-righteousness, or the desire to control. Mindful parenting does not mean being overindulgent, neglectful, or weak; nor does it mean being rigid and controlling.

12. The greatest gift you can give your child is your self. This means that part of your work as a parent is to keep growing in self-knowledge and in awareness. We have to be grounded in the present moment to share what is deepest and best in ourselves.

Please feel free to add in the comments which one of these tips you liked most. And are practicing. They can be a great help for better parenting.

Be well. Be rich. Be great.

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It has been a long time since I have posted here.

The main reason for this was that I had a lot of other things to do (I changed jobs for instance) and I was a bit dissapointed by the lack of real online success.

I guess it is one of these things we have to overcome just to become really successful in some skill or business.

What made me come back to this blog?

First, I have an unfinished series on the 7 laws of attraction running here. I really would like to finish it (actually, the articles are nearly all written, I just need to publish them)

And secondly, looking at the statistics for my blog, I noticed that I was starting to receive visits from google for the keyword “mindfulness exercises“. At topic that I love dearly! So I started to campaign for that keyword again (I was in the 25th spot, and climbed already one). Furthermore, this keyword has a high search rate (some 1000 per month) which would really improve my visits (now 10 per day)

Voila, expect some activity again on this blog in the very near future.

Be well. be rich. be great.

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A new update on the motivaider. I have now been using my motivaider for quite some time and I thought it was time for some update.

In my last post on the motivaider I reported some good results, but not very decisive ones. This time is different as I really started to see changes in my mindfulness practice.

I continued tweaking the use of my MotivAider and I finally start to see the results! One of the problems I had was that I seldom felt the vibrations, although the settings were on maximum. I am now convinced that this is because of the deep state of sleep I was (am) in. When one is so engrossed in the activity, there is no piece of awareness left to notice the buzz. And this is precisely what is needed.
So here are my key points to using the MotivAider for mindfulness

Experiment with the frequency

This is a critical parameter. Let it go off to often and you will develop resistance to the buzz, or you will start to cut it out of the the things you notice. If the frequency is to low, it is not a great aid to the mindfulness practice. You will then only become mindful once or twice a day and although this has definite use, I think that in the case of mindfulness, more is better.

Experiment with the strength and length of the buzz

In my case, both are on their maximum value as I tend to ignore the signal quite often. The disadvantage of this is that I sometimes have a sour spot on my leg in the evening while remaining unaware of the buzzing :-).

Often anchor yourself to the buzz

When you notice the buzzing, tell yourself: ‘I feel the buzzing and I …” whatever you want to achieve. I started doing this as I noticed that I often unconsciously noticed the buzzing and did not act upon it. By often repeating reminding yourself what to do when you feel the buzz, you start to do it more often also. I often find myself recentering, just one minute after my MotivAider went of.

Do whatever you planned to do when the buzzing went of

I found myself developing resistance to acting on the buzz. I did not feel like doing it, or I was too buzzy, or I found some other excuse. You have to strongly resolve to do whatever you planned to do when the MotivAider goes off. And then take the time to do it. So it is better to choose something that can be done quickly.

Meditate

Yes, it is in formal meditation practice that th skill of mindfulness is best practiced. It is the easiest and surest way to make improvements and to perfect it. It is not an easy task to develop mindfulness in the midst of everyday life. It is lost altogether. In meditation, we relearn what it is to be mindful in an easy setting in order for us to take this knowledge into daily life.

Conclusion.

The motivaider really starts to rock when used properly. It takes quite some experimenting but lately I am much more sensitive to the buzz which is a sure indication that my mindfulness is becoming stronger. I am very grateful to have found this little tool.

Be well. Be rich. Be great.

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